


Boys

by etckhh



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: AAAA?, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Cheolsoo, Joshua!centric, M/M, Oneshot, gay boi joshu, jisoo!centric, romance not rlly, this is unbetad as fuc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 21:06:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8416708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etckhh/pseuds/etckhh
Summary: Joshua decides to not fall in love.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this was just?? a random bout of inspo tbh. It's really unstructured and bad.

Boys.

Joshua has lots of feelings about boys.

He hates it when they try to one-up him. Insult him. Insult others. Insult themselves. Start fights and end feelings. Destroy others self-esteems. Not shower for days. Take up too much space on public transportation. That is when Jisoo hates boys.

He appreciates boys when they do sweet things. Laugh loudly and uncontrollably. Help little old ladies across the street. Tip waitresses extra. Smile. When they smell nice. When they stop to pet dogs on the street. This is when Jisoo likes boys.

Jisoo loves one boy. A specific boy whom he can’t get out of his veins and off his skin. Sort of like a cold or the flu. Not prominent enough to ruin his week or life. But effective enough small things in everyday life are different. The boy with expressive eyes and the loud laugh. The boy who gets passionate about the things he loves. The boy who will protect his loved ones with his life. 

This is when Joshua loves boys.

Jisoo has feelings Seungcheol, and he doesn’t know how to deal with them. He wonders if maybe Seungcheol sees him similarly. They’re not dating, not even courting necessarily. But god, Joshua feels himself harboring affections for the boy who sits directly to his left in class. They could talk about whatever forever. Every word that comes from Seungcheol’s mouth holds so much meaning behind it. When they talk, Joshua feels like both the smartest person alive and the dumbest person in the world. He feels like a ball of emotion whenever they make eye contact and he hates it. Joshua knows he could fall in love with Seungcheol.

He isn't in love, though. At least not yet.

Jisoo studied it vaguely a couple years back in high school. The idea of ego and super ego. He wonders if maybe Seungcheol is the personification of his super-ego. Everything Joshua loves, everything he sees as depth full and artistic. Seungcheol lives and breathes it. Maybe it’s just infatuation. Everything he wants and enjoys being held in the latter’s personality. As if Seungcheol was made, and then Joshua was made to admire him. There is a possibility that Joshua can genuinely fall in love with him.

Seungcheol’s gorgeous in an attainable way. His outer appearance isn’t necessarily the most striking, or perfect. But Seungcheol is entrancing in the way he emotes. You can see the way his eyes light up when he has an idea, the way he seems to dull and reserve while thinking. The way he gestures to punctuate thoughts. In no way is Seungcheol a model, he’s far more interesting than any model out there. Joshua consciously reigns himself in and over-analyzes his own actions to make sure that he’s good enough to even be in Seungcheol’s presence. Seungcheol even surrounds himself with friends who are gorgeous. His close friend, Jeonghan has the most stunning fashion sense and hair. Not to mention that he and Seungcheol discuss philosophy like it's some sort of small talk. Child's play. Jeonghan has deep brown eyes and nice hair and is far better than Joshua in so many ways he can’t even count. Not to mention the other guy Seungcheol’s close with. Jihoon from the music department. He’s short but surefooted, smart, and quick to speak up. His expression hardly reveals anything, but his actions speak volumes. Joshua’s own friends act as though they just started their second year of intermediate school. With their awkward fashion senses, loud laughs and outdated Internet jokes. They can’t even compare. Joshua would rather drop dead than go a day without Mingyu, Soonyoung and Seokmin - but still. They’re a bit of an embarrassing of a group.

Seungcheol is leagues away yet right at his fingertips and it feels disorienting. He knows Seungcheol isn’t looking for a serious relationship and truthfully, Joshua isn’t either. He just wants someone to hold onto for right now. All Joshua wants is some consistency. Someone to lay in bed with, someone to kiss, someone to take out to movies and text at three in the morning. All in all, Seungcheol is far too good for him. Joshua wonders sometimes if maybe he likes the idea of Seungcheol, or Seungcheol himself. He realizes every time he sees Seungcheol’s face, that he likes him far too much.

But realistically it would never happen.

It would never even get very far. He and Seungcheol aren’t just on different planets, they’re in different solar systems. Joshua is content with their fading friendship. He knows that if they didn't have a class they’ve both got to be every Tuesday and Thursday - that their friendship will wilt and disappear. And Joshua decides that’s just fine. It’s for the best.

Joshua decides to not fall in love.

**Author's Note:**

> Please critique the fuck out of this thanks


End file.
